so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
