So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
