Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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