arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
