just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
