so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
