so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
