So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
