I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Blow job season was short but glorious.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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