Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
