Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
