you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
