you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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