i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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