Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
