I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
