dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
