she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
