I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize