what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
