She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
