this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
