that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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