My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
