The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
