My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
