i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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