I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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