member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
