ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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