I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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