Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
