NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
