he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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