I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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