oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All I want is dick and wine.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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