That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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