Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize