Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
it's like iHOP with fire
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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