Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
