Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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