I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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