I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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