Apparently you make a good broom.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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