dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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