In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize