Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
