the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
