The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
