I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
