Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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