I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
