yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So. Much. Porn.
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