chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
