if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you win again, gameday.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
