margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We need to rekindle our bromance
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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