Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You ruined the universe
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
