The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
