We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
