i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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