If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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